Excerpt
by HotaruGFC
Summary: Tactics. AndarcXSeneca. Why Andarc doesn't want Seneca to read his journal.


**An excerpt from the journal of Andarc Bergman**

_3/16: Day of Wind_

We're still aboard ship… traveling to Obel. Again. Kyril's obsessed with the ruins there. I guess it's a good place to make some potch. Goddess knows we could use some… But at least we're not spending anything except passage.

Personal:

When Seneca's angry, it scares me… a lot. It's so rare that she gets truly angry, but it does happen. That's when it's best to just stay out of her way.

When Seneca's angry, sometimes you don't even know it. Not until you've done something to have her wrath turn upon you. That's when it's best to duck and hide. And pray that she doesn't find you until she's calm.

That's what happened today…

I don't even know what I did, but apparently I did something because she nearly put a bolt through my head this afternoon. And all the other women traveling with us glared at me too. Looking at the sky now, it's clear to me why Seneca's angry… It's a new moon, so she's having her… monthly pains. It's always been a mystery to me, the monthly change of personality that women undergo. I don't have a sister, so I didn't have to deal with this growing up or anything. Of course, I've had to deal with this plenty since meeting Seneca…

I've heard stories of how women when they're together for a long time, they'll all start having this… problem at the same time. I never really believed it, but now… after today, though, I think I'm changing my mind…

_3/17: Day of Earth_

A little closer to Obel… I'm tired of riding on ships.

Personal:

When Seneca's sad, it's… uncomfortable. She's usually so chipper and happy. Hell, I'd rather her tease me like she does than be quiet like this. She gets all mopey and depressed and quiet. It's the silence that's the most uncomfortable. Well, that and the clinginess… She is always very, very close to me when she's sad. Like today, she didn't leave my side all day. Half the time she was touching me in some way. Not that I don't like her touching me, I just don't really like anyone touching me. Right now, she's asleep on my shoulder. I don't know why she gets this way, why she clings to me, but it always happens on the second day, right after she's angry. I also find it unsettling that she gets so apologetic. I guess it's an interesting change, but it's change, which is always uncomfortable. And I can't really say that it's unpleasant, all the touching and closeness, but I guess it wouldn't be so uncomfortable, and maybe it would be nice if it happened more than once a month. As I said, I don't know why me. Does this mean she has feelings for me, deeper than she admits? Does she love me and only let herself feel that at this time? Is this just an extension of our friendship? Am I just a convenient shoulder to cry on when needed? What? I don't know, and it's the not knowing that bothers me the most I think. The rest of the month, she's, well, she's not distant, but she's certainly not clinging to me. I think I've come to the decision, though, that I like her being close to me, like when she's leaning against me, dozing. She looks so sweet when she's like that. It makes me want to hold her. Of course, if I told her that, she'd never let me hear the end of it. So I don't. She teases me enough. Why add fuel to the fire?

_3/18: Day of Thunder_

We should be in Obel tomorrow if the weather holds. The crew is optimistic, and everyone is ready to get off of this damn ship.

Personal:

Ok, wow. Seneca surprised me last night. And it was a very, very nice and interesting surprise. Here's what happened, the short version anyway. She woke up from her little nap on my shoulder and ripped my journal from my hands. Well, the little minx actually tried to read it! And not just to herself, but wanted to quote it. Needless to say, I was not too keen on the idea, especially since I've started a personal side journal with all the accounting work. She kept running away from me when I tried to get it back. I actually had to grab and hold her to get it back. While I held her against me, she turned around and kissed me! And it wasn't like the quick kiss on the cheek she'd done before. This kiss was, well passionate is the only word I can think of. Passionate and sensual. I shocked myself a bit when I realized I was kissing her back. Oh it was so nice, a bit tingly and electric. And she didn't stop there. She led me below deck to her cabin. I didn't really realize it at the time, as she hadn't stopped kissing me. And then we, I don't know if the right phrase would be had sex, or made love, but I'm going to go with the latter as I care about Seneca to much to begin with. I mean, she's my best friend. But she really forced my hand with this. I mean, now I think I'm in love with her. I always loved her, cared about her. We're partners, cohorts, friends, but I never imagined lovers. I take that back. I have imagined it, but it was a long time ago and only briefly. And those thoughts were buried very deeply, at least they were until last night. And oh my, the actual experience was so much better than what I could have possibly imagined, though sex in a hammock is difficult, very enjoyable, but difficult to accomplish. Regardless, I could think of nothing else all day. She's going on, either like it didn't happen or like it is a common place thing. I can't tell her how I can't get her out of my head now though. What if she would rather forget? Or what if she doesn't remember? Or worse, what if she didn't enjoy it? There are so many questions, so many possibilities. And most of them are bad. Regardless, I doubt she'll be up for anything for a while, as the bleeding started today. We need to get all of these women off of this ship… or they'll drive everyone to madness. Seneca, I want you so badly now. Why do you tease me so?

_3/19: Day of Water_

We arrived in Obel today. Kryil sent some of the new recruits into the ruins to train. Seneca and I spent the day restocking our supplies and having weapons repaired. It's a good thing there's still treasure to be found in the ruins. We really need the potch. I for one think we should head back to Middleport for some more assignments, but I really don't want to be stuck on a ship for another two weeks without any progress toward our goal and with a bunch of crazy women.

Personal:

Well, Seneca told me why, today. She loves me. It's weird to write it, even weirder to say it. Last night, she asked me to stay with her. She was having the pains, so she just wanted me there with her, to hold her. So, I did, even though part of me was screaming in agony, uncertain as to her intentions, but wanting her so badly it didn't care. So, I asked her, why? She looked at me like I was crazy, like it was something I should have known, but was just too stupid to realize it. I hated having to admit to her that I was too stupid to realize it, and now I just want to slap myself, because I didn't realize it a long time ago. She said, "Because I love you, Silly. I always have." I must have looked pretty funny because she giggled afterwards. I felt dumbstruck. And then it dawned on me. All the teasing, it wasn't for nothing. She was flirting, and I was just too dumb to notice. No wonder it took her going through such drastic measures. I'm surprised that she didn't give up on me. I mean, she had several other men, I've noticed, who have noticed her. And why not? She is quite beautiful, well, at least I think so. I think what shocked me more though was when I told her I loved her too. It wasn't a lie or anything, I just never thought that I would voice that feeling, ever. It feels nice to have done so though. I really think that this is going to be the start of something wonderful. We spent the entire day together. It was a little weird at first, but it feels really, really good to be with her. People were looking at us a little oddly sometimes, but I don't care. Kryil said something like "It's about time" under his breath when he saw us sitting together at the tavern, holding hands. And I think I saw Yohn smile. And just the thought of her sleeping next to me brings a smile to my face. I never want to let her go.

**_Disclaimer: Don't own them... Constructive reviews are welcome._**


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